Man, I’m telling you, those male masturbators disguised as something else are something else.​ Interjecting, I can’t believe that I even know what these things are! But yeah, it’s an underground world of, err…intimacy products, I guess? You know, they look like say, flashlights or baby oil bottles or something like that, so that you can keep them out in the open without embarrassment.​

I found out about them by accident when I was looking for a gag gift for a friend’s birthday.​ Yup, you heard me.​ A gag gift.​ Boy, was I surprised when I opened it up to check it out.​ It was a disguised male masturbator.​

Anyway, I guess there are some pros to having one of these things.​ They’re discreet, for one.​ You don’t have to worry about people seeing a giant phallus in your nightstand drawer.​ I mean, it’s really the safest way to have solo time without anyone knowing.​ Plus you can have a lot of variety with the disguises – think baby bottles, flashlights, you name it.​ I guess if you’re on the go and need to have some privacy, you could always bring one of these things and nobody would be the wiser.​

That being said, I don’t know if I’d personally recommend buying or using one of these things, even though they might certainly be convenient.​ Masturbation, while a hugely important part of sexual health, isn’t exactly something that needs a facelift.​ A lot of people already feel a shame or embarrassment around self-love and so having a “stealth” version doesn’t really help that.​ I worry that it could be detrimental, making people feel like sexual pleasure is something not to be proud of.​

Plus, from what I’ve read, there are safety concerns around using these things too.​ A lot of the materials used to make them are questionable – not exactly body-safe.​ Most sites I’ve seen talk about only using them with a condom, so clearly manufacturers aren’t thinking first and foremost about people’s well-being.​ Not to mention, if you ever take it apart you can never really get it back together – especially if you don’t know what it is you’re working with.​

All in all, I think if you want to try out a male masturbator disguised as something else, do your research beforehand.​ Make sure the materials are solid and it looks safe to use.​ And by all means, don’t let anyone shame you for wanting or needing something like this in your self-care practice.​

Now, I don’t know about you, but my initial reaction when I first heard about this stuff was a mixture of confusion and curiosity.​ It’s not something you hear a lot in everyday conversation, so it was a bit of a shock.​ I mean, who came up with this?

Well, it turns out there’s actually a long history of using disguises to conceal sexual objects.​ Historians have found documents from ancient times describing objects of potential pleasure.​ In fact, the Kama Sutra, an ancient Hindu text, instructs readers to use a slender piece of wood to create a pleasure wand; a more modern-day version of the male masturbator disguised as something else.​

Pendants and other jewelry sometimes contained passwords or secret codes that could indicate a desire for sexual interaction.​ Other objects were crafted to look like seemingly innocent objects, such as tobacco boxes, but contained hidden erogenous areas.​

Actually, this tradition also lives on in present day in the form of adult game nights; recently the world of sex toys-tech has been exploding.​ With Bluetooth and haptic (tactile) technology you can now interact with your partner remotely using a variety of (disguised) sex toys.​

I find this trend fascinating.​ It seems like the more taboo something is, the more creative people become with hiding it in plain sight.​ It’s almost like technology is erasing fear and shame by allowing us to embrace our desires in a safe, judgment-free way.​

And with increasing acceptance of alternative forms of sexual exploration, disguised male masturbators seem to be making a comeback in the mainstream.​ It’s now even possible to purchase discreet products from places like Amazon, featuring unique shapes and designs for a variety of levels of pleasure.​

One thing remains true though.​ If you’re someone who considers yourself an adventurous sexual being, it’s important to remember that there’s no need to hide.​ Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to want a bit of privacy.​ But being more open with yourself – and with those closest to you – can be incredibly freeing.​

Finally, it’s worth asking if a male masturbator disguised as something else is really necessary? If you’re not into the traditional way of solo self-pleasure, there’s an abundance of innovative products out there.​ With medical grade silicone, rechargeable features, and a variety of other features on the market, there are all sorts of ways to explore intimacy.​

So, who knows? Maybe it’s worth considering venturing past whatever you already know to see what else is out there